Big Brother

I have only missed the majority of one Big Brother, when Cameron won. That was due in part to attempting to go travelling but also because it was pretty lame from the beginning and it had Ray Shah in it.

Celebrity Big Brother has developed its own traditions remarkably quickly, most prominently the house is always recognisable from the previous real BB in the summer. But more worrying, lazy traditions are afoot:

Celebrity Intruders-The introduction of another celebrity into the house started with Jackie Stallone, an absolute gem of an entrance and quality television. Then there was Jimmy Saville who appeared and disappeared without a hint of hilarity. This year Jade Goody’s clan have already gone in, and there are worrying rumours that everyone’s favourite misogynist David Hasselhoff will appear. The problem with this is that it makes the format look even more staid than the familiar surroundings, the misplaced belief that reinvention makes it more exciting is getting in the way of the good telly, and we all expect it. Moreover, Jade Goody-as a product of BB-makes the cliquey ‘what is a celebrity anyway’ nature of Channel 4’s January spin-off very irritating. Not only did an non-celebrity win it last year, the comment section of The Guardian, and Rob Liddle probably, will start pondering the nature of celebrity again, a theory that’s been done to death and is populist faux-sociology at its peak.
The Secret Room- The restriction of using the same house is that everyone knows there will be a secret house in which some of the celebs will have to live. This year’s couldn’t be less exciting. A servant’s quarter WITH ACTUAL REAL DUST is the home of all but three, where these celebrities have to wait on Jade Goody’s family, but hey she only became a celebrity from Big Brother and these are real celebrities, how crazy is that? Not very, and is made even less kerazzy by the actual level of celebrity they have. The producers were no doubt gutted that neither Jermaine Jackson nor Shilpa Shetty went in, two supposed clean freaks who have their own servants.

So it has come to this, and i am sad to write i am pretty disappointed with this year’s offering. Last year i was in a pub and got a flurry of text messages informing me of Galloway’s real surprise entry, news that excited me and made me giggle; there is no such excitement with the ex-sidekick of Kenny Everett. I may be proved wrong and i hope i am: CBB has had some very memorable moments in it over the years, but the crop of back-slapping chaps this time around may severely curtail the fun.

And Donny Tourette leapt over the fence last night, however irritating he may have been he was good copy and was making unusual friendships with Jackson and Sayer.