Big Brother gets much less viewing figures than I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! (IACGMOOH). 
But the spin-offs from both shows, the ‘behind-the-scenes’ ITV2/E4 shows are the other way round: BB glues fans in with Dermot O’Leary and Russell Brand; I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! Now! is less complusive viewing for the family flavour of the principal show.
IACGMOOH!Now! has been through the works recently. In previous years the after-show party has been led by Tara Palmer-Tompkinson and fellow hyphon heavy presenter Mark Durden-Smith
. TPT quit before the commencement of this new series and producers decided to overhaul the whole thing (not sure which one came first).
In her and MDS’ place stood Kelly Osbourne and Brendon Burns respectively. The new look IACGMOOH!Now! had cabbage patch doll reporting from Oz and Antipodean Brendon Burns reporting from London, complete with Big Brother’s Big Mouth pleb audience-albeit dramatically reduced to about 20 people-and Burns’ none too funny gags about aussies in London (’shouldn’t i be behind a bar? Or something?!?!?!??!?’).
I had the pleasure of watching the first one and a number of things stand out which made it worth my while in the sense of seeing ITV squirm:
- The show did not follow straight after IAMCGMOOH: between was a thirty minute documentary on elderly parenting. How can you expect an already pitiful audience to stick with a spin-off if it’s not straight after the original show? Simply madness.
- When Kelly Osbourne went to check on the guests over in Oz, Jan Leeming didn’t know who she was, so chubby doll face had to utter the sentence of the year ‘Hi I’m Kelly Osbourne from ITV’!
- The time delay between London and Oz was having a great day, even pros like Rageh Omar and Matt Frei have been felled by such a situation, hapless Osbourne and clueless Burns stood no chance.
- The producers tried to create a relationship between Osbourne and Burns, slightly flirty but still a bit silly. Instead, the completely unlikeable Burns was met by a completely unprofessional and anti-flirt Kelly Osbourne, car crash telly.
- The pleb audience in the London studio with Burns was made up of exact same faces from Big Brother’s big mouth, honestly i recognised nearly all of them from the far better spin-off show.
- The studio even drafted in a celebrity psychologist who wowed all with psychoanalysing such as ‘Jan Leeming may be complaining a lot about the situation, but soon the others will get sick of her complaining’. Insightful!
- Brendon Burns was a complete tosser, unfunny and useless at television presenting. His worst moments included missing a golden comedy opportunity when the psycholoigst said ‘i’ll start psychoanalysing you in a minute’, to which he spluttered and looked awkward for five seconds before saying nothing at all. One of those hep new stand-ups who gets out of trouble by jolting his body around and laughing too much, dross.
- Burns had one joke that got a laugh at the beginning, taking the piss out of Jason Donovan getting on with David Gest, but he used the same thing over and over, to the point where there was just awkward silences from the audience, you could feel the heat from their embarrassed cheeks.
The fallout? Well Burns got sacked straight afterwards, replaced with Mr-Dependable Mark Durden-Smith. Kelly Osbourne too is about to be given the heave-ho, apparently she has diva like demands and no one likes her, her presenting alone was enough to get sacked. Why not get her Adrenalin Junkie Hair Bear brother in, at least he can read off autocue.
This blog has tried to defend ITV on occassions but it keeps on shooting itself in the foot. My suggestion would be to have a dedicated Sunday evening ITV1 show that is a lot like The Apprentice You’re Fired, with two competent presenters, then get people watching that, bring them across to ITV2 daily half-hour updates, dispense with the rancid crap audience idea (cos you’re not willing to spend enough money on it) and replace with a clip-heavy cheap alternative, have daily behind-the-scenes stuff for the anoraks and an interview with Ant or Dec, half-hour easy.
Stop cocking-up ITV.
Tags: ITV, Reality TV, media, television, Brendon Burns, Kelly Osbourne, I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here
